i do love this boy very much. i'm afraid sometimes i get too over my head. all's well though. i must say. it's quite interesting the curiosity that comes to mind when i think of who reads this. anyone who does must really enjoy pointless information. i certainly will feel your life with it. today was a useless holiday, i didn't see anyone after hell. so therefor i smoked alone. four twenty was a drag. my dad married his fifth wife this weekend. i'm not sure how to feel about it. i want what's best for him but i'm not really sure if this is what's best for him. i surely don't know. he knows more than i. i guess. my mom is trying to persuade me to move back to my step dad's. bluck. i'm truly not feeling it. i can't have a conversation with her without hearing about him. it's honestly upsetting. i truly dislike the man very much. if only she knew. maybe if i told her how i truly felt instead of avoiding the truth it'd make things more clear for her. she doesn't quite understand where i am coming from. which frustrates me. the way i see it if she's happy without him why is she wanting to go back to unhappiness. parents confuse me. make me want to reconsider marriage and having a family with someone. maybe that's what they are there for. to hold back their children. because that's the case with my parents. i'm rambling on again. i'd better go.
happy day of holi.
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