oh lord.

Hello, I'm back.
I've been sitting her procastinating. It seems to be the only thing
I am good at here lately. School starts too soon. I have to finish my books.
I have a feeling I am going to mess things up. Oh well. Everything
happens for a reason. Right?

I'm moving back in with Freddy Crougar, my step-dad, lameee. I hate
the bastard. Oh well though. I'm getting money for living with him.
What a hoax.

I'm going though, ice cream sounds lovely.
Have a lovely dayy. <33

I am fond of the fact that my baby asian reminds me to posts little blogs every once in awhile. Eh, since last time I blogged not too much has changed. Other than the fact my mom and I haven't argued in awhile. Also that my mom has finally come the conclusion that freddy crougar, my step-dad, isn't going to change. Meaning that she isn't going to pressure me into moving back into hell. Certainly the highlight of my day. What makes it's all so interesting is when my neenaw passed away we took in a lot of her things. He called all of it shit, and now the lights she had hanging in her house are in HIS living room. Pisses me off to no end. What a fool. He losts my respect. No more rambling, I'm watching the parent trap. & bed sounds pleasent at the moment! Goodnight. <3

I hate fighting, it seems to be the only thing my mom and I are good for here lately. Help:(

pawn shop.

i do love this boy very much. i'm afraid sometimes i get too over my head. all's well though. i must say. it's quite interesting the curiosity that comes to mind when i think of who reads this. anyone who does must really enjoy pointless information. i certainly will feel your life with it. today was a useless holiday, i didn't see anyone after hell. so therefor i smoked alone. four twenty was a drag. my dad married his fifth wife this weekend. i'm not sure how to feel about it. i want what's best for him but i'm not really sure if this is what's best for him. i surely don't know. he knows more than i. i guess. my mom is trying to persuade me to move back to my step dad's. bluck. i'm truly not feeling it. i can't have a conversation with her without hearing about him. it's honestly upsetting. i truly dislike the man very much. if only she knew. maybe if i told her how i truly felt instead of avoiding the truth it'd make things more clear for her. she doesn't quite understand where i am coming from. which frustrates me. the way i see it if she's happy without him why is she wanting to go back to unhappiness. parents confuse me. make me want to reconsider marriage and having a family with someone. maybe that's what they are there for. to hold back their children. because that's the case with my parents. i'm rambling on again. i'd better go.

happy day of holi.

carnival cruise.

i haven't come and blogged in ages. it's quite irritating i might add. i've been terribly busy between getting sick and school. i'm behind. i don't enjoy it one bit. i have found that time spent with those i love are always enjoyable. they take the stress off of your shoulders. especially the ones that give you no pressure. i've been with eric for awhile now. it's quite thrilling indeed. i definitely rely a lot upon him. i would terribly enjoy a visit to the park. maybe to even climb pinnacle mountain. i think i'm going to talk erin into climbing the mountain this weekend. the top is always the place to be. the wind blows perfectly through your hair and you feel this huge sigh of relief. like you've achieved the biggest thing in the world. when really you've just climbed a big hill. stupid arkansas. we've no true mountains. only mole hills. i've drank a lot of wine with my mom tonight. probably the cause of my rambling on. oh well, if you're reading this you're interested in what i've to say. which is amusing. i think i'm going to go on a diet. i feel the need to get back into shape. i feel like i'm gaining weight even though i'm not. maybe it's because i'm not active like i used to be. i feel like losing ten pounds. i probably shouldn't set my standards so high. i already weigh 103. maybe i should just lose none and gain muscle back? i'm fond of that idea. as long as my tummy is pretty. i don't like it one bit. the other night my mom saw a picture of eric. covered in tattoos & piercings. i don't think she was too happy. oh well. he's a beautiful soul. beauty is the only thing i truly look at. if he covers body in art i'll love him for it. tattoos are only art expressed on the body. so spectacular. i think i'm going on vacation with erin & brandy this summer. and monica. i'm quite excited. we are all going to florida. but i'm not exactly sure what my mom is going to do about monica's trip she has planned. my mom isn't too fond of her. which is terribly stupid. she thinks she's a bad person even though she isn't. oh well. mom's will be moms. my forhead is itching, company is coming. i could write for days about nothing. dang. i think i should probably go. i have to finish homework. i have to finish 60 problems due friday, plus other homework. so rank. have a good evening.

millions of voicing calling for change..

"Don't underestimate the power of people who join together…they can accomplish amazing things," Obama.

beauty lies behind determination. as for the obsticles our nation is amungst we are ready to face them all. we've been told we CAN'T do this. false hope isn't what we are searching for. our hope is determination. we aren't as divided as our nation says. we are one. this is the change we have needed for eight years. one that will not only bring us closer together, but make history.

everything's changed. as for my oppurtunties they have opened greatly. i have gained all hope once again. maybe fairytales will start coming true now. you always hear the grass is much greener on the other side. i believe it's starting to grow beautiful not only on the other side but on our side as well.



have a pleasent evening.

p.s. my lip is pierced now!

field trip.

'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.'

-robert frost/the road not taken.

after all my trip wasn't a blow, for the first time in my life i cried on my way home. i have a feeling trips to my family's house aren't going to be easy anymore. something about that frightens me to no end. it's so hard not to act reckless, yet so easy to put a mask on like i'm feeling no pain..

i'm home, grr. what a trip. i've been gone for about two weeks. a lot has changed. me mostly, i guess. i miss texas greatly. i spent most of the time with my cousin. ooh how spectacular it was. i met many many great people that have showed me a lot of interesting things. i don't know though. i'm single, again. i feel amazing too. never could be better actually. i'm enjoying time away from everyone. learning new things and respecting myself more. there isn't much to write about. i've been in the car most of my day and smelling very unpleasent smells. waved at many of five oh's. ha. i miss what's in my rearview mirror already.

enjoy niggah.